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X-Men Savage Land pg 1 by RadPencils X-Men Savage Land pg 1 by RadPencils
So this was a part of my 2011 portfolio sample package and I'm finally getting it on here after all this time. it was reviewed during Emerald City Comic Con this past March with pretty awesome reviews. I was dinged on small technical parts like panel border shapes and colors but the story and drawings I told were liked by all. this is already edited from the previous incarnation. The first 3 panels were shaped from largets to smallest in the middle of the page to show the crash scene largest on the page. Some people didnt like that so I made them widescreen panels instead, showing Cyclops and Emma Frost in the cockpit of the X-Jet hanging upside wedged in a bunch of trees over a waterfall. More pages to come so keep watching!
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:iconjamaligle:
While the rendering shows promise, there are some serious issues that I think need to be addressed. You've sacrificed the storytelling of the first three panels by making them too narrow. This causes the overall piece to suffer. While panel four is important, it does not need to dominate the page the way it does. It took me 30 seconds to figure out what was going on in the first three panels. I think you would be better suited to increasing the panel size to improve clarity of the storytelling. the other problem is the rendering of the trees. They don't look convincing to me. It's always a tricky thing the draw flora, so I would encourage the use of reference for those elements. Since the Savage Land is supposed to be a rain forest I would suggest photos of the Amazon. I don't want to be entirely negative, the drawing itself is very clean and well rendered on the Blackbird.
Like I said though, It's very promising work. Good luck.
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:iconiamkomics1:
Critique by iamkomics1 Dec 31, 2011, 11:23:35 AM
it is always best to reference the masters of the comics medium and study how they've done it. one of the best storytellers is Barry Windsor-Smith from the Conan The Barbarian series of the early 1970s. He also did Wolverine Weapon X, he actually created the series. i know Barry is probably the best storyteller in comics as was John Buscema, Jack Kirby, Neal Adams, Jim Starlin and other comic book greats!...

here's a link of what a Splash page or Double-Page Spread should look like. we can tell what's going on, even without words. the inset panels are small but introduce the big picture...

i hope you continue to develop your awesome talent. remember: storytelling in comics is not easy and anyone should be able to know what's going on, even without words.

[link]

cheers,

Tony
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:iconscottforster01:
ScottForster01 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2012
I like it but I think if I could change one thing, it would be nose of the Blackbird in the 4th panel. The 4th panel seems squashed with the one side of the nose in the upper left. It would have been best to center the shot of the plane to give more room to make the nose symmetrical. The bottom of the 4th panel where waterfall is is a bit much and the space could have been used for a more dramatic shot of the crashed plane.
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:iconnarcisticthinker:
Narcisticthinker Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Without knowing how the page is written its difficult to tell if the first three panels do not appear as the writer intended. I do think the first panel could have possibly been larger and the bottom of the large splash panel shortened as tree limbs aren't very interesting. The nose of the jet seems slightly off? Did you possibly change the angle to have it fit the panel? If so I doubt it was necessary. Overall you have done a good job and I can tell very well whats going on in this page.
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:iconlarsonjamesart:
LarsonJamesART Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
i really like this!! like jamal said the first 3 panels could be bigger, but i gotta say i LOVE the first panel! it looks awesome!
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:icontommyphillips:
TommyPhillips Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
the res on this page is so high it is hard to view . From what I can see it is kool
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:iconradpencils:
RadPencils Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
thanks buddy...i tried dropping the res a bit so hopefully its better to look at
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:icontommyphillips:
TommyPhillips Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011
kool... keep rockin
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December 11, 2011
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